Elixir of the Gods

So, our second "night" away from the kids since Twincy and Twinjay were born was spent at the ER. And, once I was able to carry on a conversation, I learned a trivia nugget from our chatty nurse that is definitely worth sharing.

Apparently, the nurse was a fraternal twin and her mother had used Clomid when trying to conceive. Now, I wasn't familiar with Clomid, but nurse chatty was eager to fill me in. The secret ingredient? Urine from Italian nuns!

That's right, friends, Google that!

Creative License

After working hard on an art project, and fringing the edges with scissors, which are her most recent craze, Elliana announced

"Whatever it is, it's finished"

Being 4

On the car ride to school today, I overheard our neighbor telling Elliana:

"Hey Elliana, when I need gum, I get it from my nose"

I am still cringing...

Truth

Spencer has an excellent sense of humor and he LOVES getting me to laugh. Tonight, as I was getting ready for bed, the usual happened: a baby cried. This is inevitable. It doesn't matter what time I choose to lay down. They sleep on a different floor, there is no routine "sound" that I've made yet. It's as though they hear my thoughts. And, lately, Spencer has been sharing more of the night-waking duties.  Twincy and Twinjay are NOT on board for that plan. They let him know, under no uncertain terms, that they are mad. Oh yes, 2am is not too early in their book to spend an hour protesting.

This evening, when I came back downstairs, I noticed the laptop was slightly open. Curiosity got the best of me, as Spencer must have banked on, so I took a peek. There was Spencer's message, filling the entire screen:

Dear Twins,

What did we ever do to you?

Love,

I am Ass-tired

Beating Around the Bush

We were sitting in the living room, playing, and I began to sing. It wasn't loud, or obtrusive, so I thought.

Within seconds, Elliana looked me square in the eyes and said, as though just delivering a message:

"If you sing, there will be a fire drill and you'll have pain"

It worked. I stopped instantly, mostly from shock. I have to hand it to her, she sure knows how to give it to you straight.

Stuff It

Dear Twinjay,

The world is not meant to be your buffet. Labels should not adorn the roof of your mouth. Paper is not a precursor for chewing gum. Balled up string, fuzz, and random pebbles should not be keeping your tongue company. And, the crumbs from Elliana's chocolate dessert were not intended to multi-purpose as a snack, lipstick, and body paint.

Please, please, give it a rest.

Love,

Mama

What Goes In...

I have been blessed, yet again,  with a child who puts EVERYTHING in her mouth. Yes, I know babies put things in their mouths. But, I see other kids. I talk to other moms. This is bordering on "you can never turn your back or close your eyes, ever, unless she is asleep".

Unlike the puffy ladybug sticker, which arrived fully in-tact in Twinjay's poopy diaper, this time I caught her red-handed. Literally.

I was in the kitchen getting lunch ready. When I circled back through the living room, I was greeted by red. Twinjay had red on her hands, her mouth, and she was obviously eating something. To my horror, I realized it was a pastel that had fallen out of Elliana's art supplies.

Oh, yes, within seconds I had her on her back with her nose pinched shut to unclamp that mouth. Her saliva and the paper towel extended the life of the pastel like only an artist could enjoy. I, on the other hand, was having a very hard time determining how much of this seemingly endless product had been ingested.

Poison Control suggested I give her liquids to dilute it and watch her for an hour to see if her stomach hurt. That was super helpful. I am sure my 11-month old teething baby with a head cold is going to make a specific new cry just to let me know it's her tummy that's bothering her.

The pediatrician's office referred me back to Poison Control. The Internet made my head swim. My sister provided remote moral support.

I was left with following PC's uber-helpful advice while bracing myself for the potential repercussions of this act. I can only imagine Spencer's reaction if Twinjay starts peeing, pooping, or vomiting red.