Tooth Decay

Yesterday, Elliana made several trips to the bathroom announcing that she needed to poop. Yet, she returned almost instantly saying she didn't need to after all. I became accustomed to hearing her talk herself through the experience with comments such as "Sometimes, you sit on the potty and just don't have to poop!". As she was working on making sense of the world, I was doing laundry. And, just as I carried in a bin of clothes to fold, I overheard her ponder out loud in a trailing voice:

"If I don't poop, then maybe I'll get a cavity..."

On the Road Again

You would think we’d have learned from our beach trip. But, no, we are gluttons for punishment. So, when invited to visit with family we cheerily agreed to the 3.5 hour drive for a 36-hour stay. After all, it will be fun to change up our routine and there will be extra adults to help if we’re tired upon arrival.

IF?? What were we thinking?!  Let’s just say, the ride is supposed to take 3.5 hours but it took us 6. And tired doesn’t begin to describe our state. Exhaustion or a stupor would be better descriptors.

By the morning of departure nothing had been packed yet. There were a variety of reasons, but the end result was the same. I was to pack for the five of us in between school drop-off/pick-up, nursing, naps for the babies, lunch, and picking Spencer up at work on our way out of town. Mind you, the final piece was a 2:30pm pick-up, and my brainchild, so I own that insanity.

The morning unfolded as you might imagine. It was a flurry of diaper changes, feedings, outfit changes from spit-up, haphazard packing, more diaper changes, cajoling with a three year old…the list goes on.

In the end, we were on the road and headed to my Mom’s in daylight. This last piece is key because Twincy hates riding in the car when it’s dark. Aside from that, she seems to like being in the car.

FAMOUS LAST WORDS.  At least one of the three kids was crying almost the entire ride. We stopped 8 times (no, that’s not a typo) and actually contemplated turning around at one point. Yet, we pushed on and the two most memorable moments were as follows:

1. You know it’s a blowout when…Your husband throws you a hat as the first supply item. Yup, that’s what I said. Twinjay had such a wild explosion that it went through all her clothes right onto the carseat. Since the car was packed full, and the smell surely would have caused an even bigger riot with our less-than-pleased travelers, we had to change her outside. We found an unsuspecting neighborhood and “dropped trou”. Literally, Twinjay was stripped down on the grass (except for said hat) and “bathed” armpit-to-ankle as well as wipes can do. It was insane. The changing pad didn’t survive the experience.

2. So, you’ve reached your limit.

Elliana’s nap was cut short due to her sisters’ wailing. Even so, she was managing rather well until I heard a scream from the back seat. I turned to see her with a blanket over her head. Sobs, muffled at first, began pouring out as I asked what the problem was. My error, of course, was that I assumed she had just hit her limit of what she could tolerate for this carride. Instead, I learned what had really happened.

 

Elliana: “A cheetah just bit my finger and it really hurts!” she cried. 

And, like only a three-year-old can, she continued to produce a surplus of tears as she bemoaned the trauma.

By the time we arrived it was pitch black outside. We had family waiting in the driveway to help us instantly eject from the vehicle. Suffice it to say, we have no road trips planned for the near future.

Customer Review

Since I have nothing else to do, I went shopping for a cold. While I was at it, I chose the best variety. It is good quality: sturdy, not easily kicked, and can withstand most homeopathic remedies. As if that wasn’t good enough, I picked one that was colorful. What fun is a clear runny nose and no phlegm? No, at the very least you must have yellow.

I made sure to pick one up that causes me to cough as I try to lull the babies to sleep, jolting them awake with impressive timing. And, as if initiating them to the noisy household they’ll continue to dwell in, the violent sneezes cause me to bury my face in blankets as I rock them to sleep.

It’s also clever. Just as I lay down to sleep at night, there’s a nagging tickle in my throat. If not responded to quickly, it persists until I cough. Yet, it’s not just any cough. It’s one of those coughs that begins lightly and escalates until you’ve pulled out baritone sounds along with burning embers in your chest.

Perhaps most important, it’s versatile. It has gifted me with a husky voice, sore muscles, and a headache.

Yeah, I picked a winner.

Date Night

Our rescheduled date fell on a perfect weekend. Spencer was going to be working almost all day Saturday and Sunday. So, the Friday night outing was to be our getaway before the long haul. Still, the preparation to make it possible leaves me almost contemplating a staycation.

I started the day by going to the store with the twins after dropping Elliana at school. This always tires me out, but we needed to have dinner ready for Elliana in order to go out tonight. So, I headed into the store “wearing” Twincy in the Moby while Twinjay, still in the carseat carrier, was nestled into the grocery cart. However, because Twinjay and Twincy are facing each other, this causes Twinjay to crack up. Literally, I was pushing a cart, with a chuckling baby, up and down aisles. The funny part is that people often think I only have one child with me (the one I’m wearing).  They must think I stash the carseat in the cart for convenience (note: it is NOT convenient, just a necessity). Consequently, there are surprised looks from shoppers as they realize the giggles are coming from a live baby and, shocker, I have twins! 

So, laugh-fest aside, I try to get out of the store and home in time to get the babies down for their normal naptime. This is tricky because Twincy often falls asleep in the car and I’m left to decide if I should wake her or not. As expected, this happened. But, by some luck, I was able to transfer them both to their cribs. Since their naps aren’t always predictable in length, I didn’t try to nap and instead raced around the house trying to accomplish as much as possible. And when I say “race”, I use that term loosely.  What I really mean is that I’m at least not moving at a turtle’s pace any longer.

Before I know it, it’s time to get Elliana. So, I actually wake the babies, put them right into the carseats and drive to school for pick-up. After the whole lunch and naptime insanity (truly, there’s no other word for the dance that, if successful, culminates with three well-fed, sleeping children) I have a million things to get to. I have intentions of washing my jeans, typing up babysitter instructions, doing dishes, and taking a shower before the sitters come (yes, plural, we wouldn’t sick our brood on one victim for bedtime – that delight is left solely for me). However, I am FAR too tired to even begin. I set my cell phone alarm and crash on the couch with hopes of actually sleeping.

By the time I woke, Spencer was home and I had fallen into such an intensely deep sleep that I actually felt drugged. It was restorative, far too short, and incredibly hard to come out of. I went into the office to try to tell Spencer something about the order of attack and couldn’t seem to say anything intelligible.  It mirrored the time I had my wisdom teeth pulled and woke from the anesthesia speaking Spanish to my Mom. I might as well have been speaking Greek, as she doesn’t know any Spanish, and the only English word I kept repeating was vacuum. I was 17 at the time, far too young to have vacuums on the brain. Either that was some sick foreshadowing for future years or my inner demons were betraying me for the world (aka my Mom and the dentist’s staff) to know about my preference for thorough cleaning.

I never did communicate what I intended to Spencer. None of my words made sense and I couldn’t think through the thick fog that was encompassing my brain. So, I abandoned that plan and began attacking the house. Spencer caught wind and followed suit and soon we could actually see the floors again!

As my list of to-do’s was impossibly long, I kept mentally ditching the ones that weren’t vital until I met the first sitter at the door as a just-woken Twinjay spit up on herself, me, and the floor. And, for some reason, I felt the need to blurt out “Anything you see in the house that looks normal was just done” and proceeded to clue her in that this was basically a disaster area. Sweetly, Celeven smiled and laughed. I could tell I was talking a little too fast (giddy from the 30+ minutes of sleep I’d gotten) and sharing way too much (normally a task reserved for Spencer, my love, the best over-sharer I know).

I gave Celeven a tour of the house and promised I’d print the instructions prior to leaving. Then, I handed her a baby and headed off to shower. My intention was to leave by 6pm, but it was already almost that time and I was anything but clean. I mentally chucked several more items from my list and raced to the bathroom.

You would think I had my clothes planned and ready for our date, but the twins have been spitting up a lot for the past two days and I never did get my jeans into the wash. So, I headed to the closet and tried on jeans that haven’t fit since before I was pregnant. Who knows, right, anything can happen! To my shock, I could pull them all the way up and, drum roll, close them comfortably with NO BELLA BAND (truly, I LOVE that band, but not needing it was almost as satisfying as going out for a few hours!). Almost is the key word there.

Once I was dressed, I finished typing instructions and welcomed our other sitter, Nanaville, to the house. It’s been weeks since we’ve seen her and she’s practically an extension of our family. I almost wanted to stay home just to catch up with her! Again, almost is the key word.

Meanwhile, Elliana decided that our outing was basically abandonment. Nevermind the fact that she talks about Nanaville daily and has been asking when Celeven will get here all week. Now that the time has come, I watch a roller coaster of emotions work through her little body, which finally collapsed on the floor. Thankfully, she was easily distracted with coloring and soon forgot her recent “orphan” status.

Hugs, kisses, a few last suggestions for bedtime.

Finally, as if we were shot out of a canon, Spencer and I exit the house. We are free and we sit in the car, in almost dumb silence. The potential for what we could do with these next few hours, and the silence in which we could complete thoughts and, dare I say, conversations, is almost numbing.

Looking down

Elliana casually positioned herself on my bed this morning and crossed her legs as though it was an age-old habit. She then looked at me and announced, "I'm the woman with stilts." This didn't surprise me because her fascination with the woman in stilts was renewed over the weekend when we saw her at a downtown event. My somewhat groggy reply was, "Do you work at the circus?" Again, I'm assuming she'll confirm my suspicion but instead she said, "No, I work at the garage sale." Then, she leaned toward me and tilted her head, as though imparting knowledge, and informed me, "It's like a cafe."

I've decided not to dismiss the comment, but instead, let my mind float. Maybe I've just been narrow-minded in my definition of garage sale...