Since I have nothing else to do, I went shopping for a cold. While I was at it, I chose the best variety. It is good quality: sturdy, not easily kicked, and can withstand most homeopathic remedies. As if that wasn’t good enough, I picked one that was colorful. What fun is a clear runny nose and no phlegm? No, at the very least you must have yellow.
I made sure to pick one up that causes me to cough as I try to lull the babies to sleep, jolting them awake with impressive timing. And, as if initiating them to the noisy household they’ll continue to dwell in, the violent sneezes cause me to bury my face in blankets as I rock them to sleep.
It’s also clever. Just as I lay down to sleep at night, there’s a nagging tickle in my throat. If not responded to quickly, it persists until I cough. Yet, it’s not just any cough. It’s one of those coughs that begins lightly and escalates until you’ve pulled out baritone sounds along with burning embers in your chest.
Perhaps most important, it’s versatile. It has gifted me with a husky voice, sore muscles, and a headache.
Yeah, I picked a winner.