Originally an email to my Mom, sisters, and BIL
Dear Close Circle,
Today began at 1:50am when C, 1-month-old twin #1, woke because she couldn't breathe well (nose stuffiness, not alarming, but still uncomfortable). We no longer need to wake them at night for feedings so I picked her up and left J, twin #2, sleeping. C decided that suctioning her nose was intolerable and her cries became siren-like several minutes before I was able to begin feeding her. Thankfully, J didn't wake during this. However, right after I laid C down, J woke and decided she wanted to eat. C needed more burping so I was basically trying to assist both at the same time (my husband, Spencer, was asleep in the living room trying to have some semblance of a brain for work in the morning). I basically ran a "tag team" approach with the twins for the next three hours.
Then, at 5:05am (I have become VERY good at squinting to see the time on the clock) Elliana came into bed WITH her sidekick, Big Baby, and announced that she was "very sure" that she and her doll wanted to sleep in my bed. Normally, I would have chaperoned our 3-year old back to her own bed, but I was holding one of the babies (can't remember which one at this point) and was fearful of waking them again. Plus, Elliana's request was different than her usual and I could tell she really needed to be with me. She sweetly laid next to me and even tried to help with the babies and let C suck on her pinky while I tried to begin feeding J in hopes they wouldn't both really be hungry at the same time. But, Elliana was in desperate need of cuddling and some reassurance. Alas, they all needed me. So, I stretched as far as I could without losing an important body part to the gums of a little one and did what had to be done: called Spencer on his cell phone. He appeared at the door before it finished ringing. I didn't need to explain - just handed him J and he took her to burp. In the meantime, Elliana wanted to sleep, but couldn't given all the racket, so she began asking lots of questions in her "whisper" - aka normal talking voice which basically signals to the babies that it is daytime. NO! I did not want 5:30am to be daytime!
Finally, the babies were diapered, fed, and sleeping while I was arching an arm around to try and rock one or the other or get a pacifier or pick one up while allowing Elliana to sleep on my other arm. Spencer was showering for work and I was pretending it wasn't morning yet. By the time it was Elliana's normal wake time she was passed out to the world - flat on her back. Unfortunately, I had to wake her. This was sure to bring some tears. However, I was pleasantly surprised that she woke with little drama and we got ready fairly quickly...I even thought we might be early to school! I texted our neighbor to see if they needed me to bring their son to school (I was helping with driving today since I knew I had reinforcement – Friend Fabulosa who was visiting for 2 weeks). I ran out to the car to warm it up before bringing Elliana to the car. OH NO! Her carseat wasn't in the car. I instantly realized it was in Spencer's car because he picked her up yesterday at lunch. Awesome. So, I ran back inside and looked gratefully at FF (a look I am perfecting as she has been like a live-in-Doula this week!), explained to Elliana that she needed to stay with FF, and I ran to the car and drove to Spencer's school to get her carseat out of his car. On the way, I called his cell to see which parking lot he parked in today. Voice mail. So, it's my best guess.
Amazingly, lights seemed to be in my favor. I called Elliana's school and explained that we'd be late, found Spencer's car and got the carseat out and installed in the other car, and drove back to the house. By the time I got home, Elliana was no longer interested in going to school. She'd had such a good time with FF that she now just wanted to read and play Legos. After a few minutes of negotiating, we were finally on our way to school. The staff were wonderfully understanding (even sharing about fiascoes) and helped Elliana up to her room. Oh, and I'd gotten a text back from our neighbor that they were doing drop off themselves this morning. Good thing!
So, I drove home ready to feed J & C and hoping that FF wasn't holding two wailing babies. I also began wondering where our neighbor’s carseat was because I needed it by 11am. Once home, I sent a text and walked inside to a quiet house. Miraculously, J & C were sleeping. I decided to eat in a hurry - stretching daytime feedings longer than 3 hrs can interfere with night sleeping and that's NOT what I want! After eating, I went to feed the babies while FF went to rest on the couch.
I fed both babies, burped them, and set them up in the bathroom so I could shower while they were in baby chairs. I even draped a patterned fabric sarong to look at if they stayed awake. Well, this is where it gets interesting. Just before I was about to get in the shower the toilet clogged. Now, I am not skilled at plunging. However, I was the only one there, and at this point my sole clothing item was a nursing tank, so it was up to me. I tried to plunge and it wasn't working. After what seemed like several minutes I'm sure I started to break a sweat. In a panic, I tried flushing the toilet thinking that it might help everything go down since my efforts seemed useless. WRONG DECISION! The bathroom flooded. And, when I say flooded, I mean, I now know our bathroom floor is not level because the water pooled against the side where the cabinet/sink is and raced toward out bedroom carpet. I threw down towels but that wasn't enough. I called for FF and realized I was practically nude. I yanked the sarong off the counter and wrapped it around me as I ran out of the room in a hushed yell calling for FF. She was fast asleep on the couch but rose by the time I got to her.
Bless her! She came into the bathroom, laughed out of shock (yes, the baby seats were both in "water" now) and hurried to plunge the toilet. I offered gloves and she accepted, to my embarrassment. After finding a bucket and dumping contents into the tub (pure fear/shock/panic was driving these decisions now), moving the babies into the bedroom still in their chairs (and placing those on towels), the toilet finally cooperated. We steam cleaned the floor, and I raced around finding additional towels as we contemplated finding the sump pump. After we removed and/or cleaned all conceivable items from the bathroom, FF retreated to the upstairs shower while I disinfected the sink/counter area. Mind you, I was still wearing the sarong, which was now falling off and I was basically mooning our neighbor's house through our wide-open window (by this point I chose not to look, so I don't actually know who saw what).
I jumped in the shower and spent an extra long time scrubbing my feet (mostly because I was disgusted) and, once I was done with the shower, stepped out onto my glorious pillowcase. This was the only substitute I could find for a bathmat since all our towels, including beach, were used for the flood.
FF made snacks for Elliana and Neighbor B, I got dressed (after many failed attempts, at rapid speed, to find pants that fit), and left the house to do the school pick-up. That portion of the day went smoothly, although Neighbor B sat down in red clay right before we left, so I decided they would only be playing outside once we got home. Halfway through the playdate FF and I swapped so she went outside with the kids and I came inside to nurse after a brief intermission to clean up a blow-out from J. I should mention that, today, nursing seems to be the preferred hobby of J & C (to illustrate this, J has already nursed twice in the past hour as if she never ate before).
On top of all this, I've developed a case of eczema on my right hand that looks like burn scars and a ring around a cut that looks suspicious. I now have a Dr. appointment for tomorrow.
This evening was supposed to be the night that FF and I go out for a drink (not sure what that really means except we'll be among adults and I'll attempt to get out without spit-up on me). I think we'll choose a dimly lit spot so the bags under my eyes won't be noticeable. We are still planning to go but I've never napped (can't imagine why) and still haven't been able to pump (which would enable us to go) since our resident gobblers are eating and my final resolution was to put both of them in the Moby. They promptly fell asleep and our house seemed to resume some sense of normalcy but this does make pumping impossible.
Yes, I skipped describing several hours of our day but I think you get the gist. Oh, and please don't get any clever ideas about forwarding this message in hopes of upsetting me to the point that I never include you in an email with such grotesque detail again (I realize this may have been TMI). You're in the "close circle" for life and that cannot be undone by oversharing this saga. However, I am expecting complete silence. If you want to share - call someone on the list who received this email!
With that said, I'm standing, gazing at two darling, sleeping babies, and grateful I had extra help during the day and a husband with a good sense of humor at the end of the day (however, after the bathroom incident I think he wonders if I'm really the catch he had thought). Truly, I am more gorgeous than words can describe today (haha). My hotness rating is off the charts;)
All Yours (aren’t you lucky!),
…you can see that lack of sleep has prompted me to throw caution to the wind and share this with the masses!