Friday, November 16, 2012

20-Minute Dash

I overslept. We ALL overslept. I vaguely remember Spencer waking me to say goodbye. The next thing I knew, Elliana was requesting breakfast. Twincy was curled up next to me, sound asleep. Twinjay, I could now hear, was downstairs crying. I had no idea how long she’d been up, but she was crying LOUD, and I felt AWFUL.  That poor baby! Time to apply a thick layer of guilt impenetrable by reason.

Normally, Elliana’s routine is to go potty and get dressed before heading downstairs. Of course, she chose today to announce she wanted to eat first. That always slows things down and there simply wasn’t time to spare. We all had to get ready, and out the door, ASAP. This meant dressed, breakfast, diaper changes, nursing, the whole works. The likelihood of this happening without a late arrival to school was slim. However, I wasn’t willing to admit defeat yet. And, I am pretty sure I was sleep-walking.

So, I raced downstairs to rescue poor, sad, Twinjay. She quickly cheered (though, even as I write, I still feel bad) and I began changing her diaper. Of course, Twinjay was soaked and needed to be completely changed. She is masterful at detaching her diaper, even through a onesie. I, on the other hand, am not as skilled at re-closing the diaper through clothing. So, I was in a major race against time.

Now, Twincy’s clothes were dry but, while changing, she began to pee. She’s a champion pee-er and I found myself hurrying to secure the diaper in time. It’s not that I wanted her to be stuck in a wet diaper, but I really wanted to avoid another outfit change. I thought something was working my way until I sat her up and realized the pee had gone all over her back. And so, outfit change it was.

Meanwhile, Elliana was firmly resisting bathroom duties with her usual “Pee doesn’t come out!” retort. I calmly reminded her that she needed to try, and also get dressed, before breakfast. To that, her face clouded over and she disappeared into the bathroom. I was NOT confident that she was doing anything productive in there. Trying to speed up a three-year-old is a losing battle.

I returned to something I thought might be more successful – feeding the babies. With no time to get the nursing pillow, I propped them up in bed the best I could. Normally, the two are pretty on-task, but this time Twincy decided to alternate nursing with deep, soul-searching stares. Now, I am ALL for bonding with my children but this was so NOT the time for a leisurely feed!

I had to prematurely end the “session” to locate Elliana. She had decided she needed help with all her morning tasks (after all, her sisters do get that service!). With no time to disagree, and a dizzy feeling taking over me (yes, in major need of food and water), I found myself traipsing upstairs to assist. She was satisfied by my company and complied for everything, even tooth brushing.

Still, there was breakfast to be had, hair to comb, a car to warm, and all 3 kids needed to get into carseats. Not to mention, today was the rare day I scheduled for a friend to visit. Even better, our house looked like a place where laundry goes to die, and my father-in-law was scheduled to arrive in a few hours. 
After gathering food for Elliana to eat en-route, I determined that I too must eat or risk doing a face-plant. I seized the box of Raisin Bran and managed to stab a few spoonfuls in while Elliana wasn’t looking.  This was so NOT modeling eating at the table with careful chewing.  Finally, we were out the door!

As if wishing for speed gifted me with delays, I hit the next roadblock. By the time we got to the car, Elliana insisted that she do her own carseat buckle. WHY couldn’t she have exercised this independence INSIDE the house??!? Because, I tell myself, that would have been easy.

After she was secured, I hopped into the driver’s seat and proceeded to glue my stubborn hairs down with Neutrogena Hand Cream.  This guaranteed that fifteen minutes later I’d look like I hadn’t showered in four days. It also cancelled any possibility of skipping a shower before KT arrived. However, my focus was on getting Elliana to school. We were on our way and I was in the zone.

For the record, we were totally late.

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